Why I hate the word “GIRLY”

Dear Daniel,

We had a conversation (argument) the other day. I ended up crying. Not because I was angry, but because I was sad. Sad that you didn’t understand.

It started off with you calling a song you didn’t like, “girly”. I hate that word. You know I hate that word. But maybe you don’t know why?

“Girly” has become a mean, derogatory word. It has become an insult, it has bad connotations.

What I want you to see is why I don’t want to use that word in our house, in front of our children.

When people use the word “girly” in that horrible demeaning way (even when “it wasn’t meant like that!”) they subconsciously start making assumptions about all girls. Things like “you run like a girl” or “you throw like a girl” (the list goes on…) make people think being a girl makes you weak and stupid.

IT DOESN’T.

It does nothing good for boys either. Showing emotion is “girly”. Being “girly” is weak.

IT’S NOT.

I want to bring my children up in a world where they can do anything they put their mind to. I want them to grow up knowing they are equal.

I want Connie to be a mechanic, or a firefighter or a fucking rocket scientist if that’s her dream. I don’t want her gender to hold her back.

I want Angus to know it’s okay to cry if he’s sad and jump for joy when he’s happy. And if he wants to be a dancer or a nurse or an air hostess, he can.

THE WORLD SHOULD BE THEIR OYSTER.

It all starts with us. The language we use to them, to each other, to everyone else makes a difference to how our children see themselves and who they grow to be.

If we teach them, they will teach others. And that’s how the big changes begin, with a few little words.

As a son, a father, a fiance (urgh I HATE that word too) and one day maybe even a grandfather – surely that’s what you want? An equal chance for you loved ones. Free of assumptions and gender bias.

GENDER SHOULD NOT DICTATE WHO YOU ARE OR WHAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF.

Lots of love

Beth x

2018 GOALS

I cannot believe how fast 2017 went by!

There’s been some wonderful highs, Connie starting nursery, competing in the British Synchronised Ice Skating Championships, taking Connie on an air-plane for the first time, Angus turned one and I had a little holiday away to London with my Mum.

There’s been some lows too. Illness in the family, having to cut my hours back at work and I’ve really struggled with my mental health.

I’m not usually one for New Years resolutions or a “New Year, new me” kinda gal. But now seems as good a time as any to get my mind where I want it. So I’ve made some goals and Daniel and I have brainstormed how to get there.

1. To be happier with who I am.

I’m going to exercise more, because back when I was more active, mentally, I was much happier. That might help me lose some weight. I’m not bothered about numbers, I just want to be healthier. If I’ve got a healthy body, it will help me have a healthy mind too.

I’m going to bullet journal again. Being more organised makes me SO much more calm. The same with a tidy house. I have a housework schedule and I’m determined to follow it and not let everything build up until the weekend. I hate losing my weekend to housework!

2. All of us to have a more healthy diet.

We have been eating so badly of late. Takeouts, microwave meals and all the crappy snacks of the day. I want to start eating healthy meals again. So I’m going to make weekly meal plans, make my shopping list from that and STICK. TO. IT.

3. Get Connie a hobby.

She’s recently expressed an interest in dancing and singing so by the end of January I want to have gotten her into a musical theatre class.

Having a hobby really helped me come out of my shell as a child and I’m hoping it’ll do the same for her.

4. To do more things that scare me.

I’ve been a bit of a scardy-cat which I think is because I don’t really like who I am anymore. I was never afraid to dye my hair or wear bright lipstick before. I think if I push myself out of this comfortable little bubble I’ve shrunk into, I might just find a little bit of the old, bold me again.

5. Make more family time.

With Daniel working shifts and me working EVERY Sunday sometimes it gets difficult to fit in family time. We just end up doing nothing and getting grumpy about it. What we’ve realised is, it doesn’t have to be something big, it just has to be something. Board games, making pizzas or even watching a DVD.

6. Take more pictures.

Well, in theory, this is an easy one. I’m going to use a proper camera (not just my phone) and…take more photos.

So that’s it!

Simple right?!

Beth x

 

What’s in your handbag?

What do you carry in your handbag? I emptied mine the other day and there was so much crap!

Obviously I had the usual/normal things – purse, keys, phone, hand sanitiser.

I also had lip balm, hand cream, a hairbrush, mascara, powder, mini deodorant and dental floss. A mobile beauty parlour. Of course.

The there was nappies, wipes and Sudocrem. The joys of being a Mum.

I had two measuring tapes, a Peppa Pig figurine, face paint from Halloween, sellotape, a roll of Sophia the First stickers, a left contact lense (who knows where the right is?) and a chewed up skittle.

Firstly, how do I fit all of that in my bag?! That’s not even including the mulch of receipts, sweetie wrappers, pens, pen lids and kirby grips.

And, secondly, why do I need of that shit? I don’t think I use even half of  it!

What do you have in your bag? Is it similar to mine? Do you carry as much junk as I do?

Taking a break.

I haven’t blogged in a while. It’s been a few months actually.

I felt like what I wrote didn’t matter, nobody read it, nobody cared.

I can’t keep up with other bloggers and Instagramers and Pinterest enthusiasts. My little blog isn’t as fun or as interesting, my pictures aren’t “insta-worthy” and my house is a riot of mess and noise

But after a few months off and a bit of time to have a good think, I realised I’m not writing for likes or for followers or for anyone else really. I’m doing it for myself. I’m doing it to help my sanity, I’m writing to help me with my sense of self.

If I can have some fun and make some friends along the way, then, even better.

Here’s to me!

My fear of being touched

Most people who know me, know about my touch aversion. I don’t think everyone understands how bad it can get sometimes.

They’ll always be my babies.

Do you ever just look at your babies and get so overwhelmed with emotion. You think to yourself I made that little ( or not so little) creature. You are little parts of me.

I can’t even properly put into words how much love I feel for my children. There are some moments where it just halts me in my tracks. It takes my breath away. It’s usually when we’ve had a really busy* day. I eventually get to bed and on my way I stop in to check on Connie and Angus.

10 Differences between the first and second children.

Angus has just turned one. One whole year old. I can’t believe it! It has made me think how quickly time passes, it also got me thinking about how different things were, with him compared to with Connie.

When you go anywhere with children you pretty much have to pack the entire house, including the kitchen sink.

We carry sooo much stuff!

Connie the trucker.

To continue Connie’s Year of Transport Papa took her out in his lorry. She loved it!

She helped him clean the lorry, inside and out, she was co-driver telling him where to go and she took great joy in waving to the other drivers and having them wave back!

13 Reasons Why Having Kids is Great.

I mean there are plethora of reasons that having kids is great. But other than the obvious (and sort of boring) reasons, these are my favourites