25 things I need to apologise to my Mum and Dad for now I’m an adult with children of my own. 

Having your own children makes you realise how truly awful you were to your own parents.

I know you’re reading this Mum, I’m sure you can print it out and put it on the fridge! Just take it down once Connie learns to read. Please.

1. Sorry for never letting you have a bath without an audience. It was the only place you couldn’t escape me when I had stupid question.

2. Sorry for always eating the good food in the house.

3. Sorry for mumbling (that one is mainly for you Dad).

4. Sorry for turning my nose up at food I liked the week before.

5. Sorry for intentionally wrecking brand new, expensive trainers so they looked “cool”.

6. Sorry for replacing all the vodka in the alcohol cupboard with water.

7. Sorry if you didn’t already know about number 6.

8. Sorry for never tidying my bedroom. That’s a biggie.

9. Sorry for screaming ” I hate you! ” whenever I wasn’t allowed to go somewhere or do something.

10. To be fair, I’m sorry about the entirety of the teenage years. I was a horrible person most of the time.

11. Sorry for going missing. When I was really little and when I went missing on the farm at Hazel’s 18th.

12. Sorry for being so hungover for my 18th birthday party because I’d gotten drunk and lost the night before.

13. Sorry for always being late.

14. Sorry for wearing stick on earrings on photo day when you specifically told me not to.

15. Sorry for letting my friends use you as a human climbing frame at my 8th birthday party, Dad.

16. Sorry it cost you an arm and a leg to send me ice skating.

17. Sorry I lost every watch you ever bought me.

18. Sorry that I didn’t work harder at school.

19. Sorry that I once spilt tipex on my carpet and tried to hide it.

20. Sorry that I got drunk a lot more that you thought.

21. Sorry I got really drunk a lot more than you thought. Like, a lot.

22. Sorry I mixed grape and grain.

23. Sorry that I stole some of your gin. It was gross, I didn’t take it all.

24. Sorry for that time I put a hole in the sink.

25. Sorry for all the times I whined and gurned over absolutely nothing.

Please please please don’t tell my kids how awful I was, I don’t want them getting any ideas.


About Beth Mackintosh

Mum of two, well, three if you count the man child. Weddings, skating competitions and the smell of a new book 👌🏼
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